Many Such Cases

It has been a minute, and that minute has been stressful as hell.  To start, as the title suggests, I got my first T-shot today!!! I haven't cried yet, but it's only a matter of time. On the way to the clinic I was so goddamn stressed, and wasn't even sure I was getting it today, but, surprise! Testosterone!  I was expecting to inject it into my thigh, which is why I wore my dirty-ass shorts I forgot to wash, only to be injected on my stomach. Oh well, lmao. It's been a very strange few weeks. I couldn't get the job I applied for because they turned me away for the cardinal sin of...my paperwork being folded. Cool.  After that I've just been kind of in a haze. I have made a bit of progress with my reading list, but otherwise I've been in a hell of a funk. I'm hoping at least things turn around and look up a bit. I'd love to blog a bit more here, my father bought me Moby Dick and some Lovecraft, so maybe there's something in there. All kinda up in...

...is slowly driving me mad. I mean this lightheartedly, naturally. However, it is extremely difficult to convince people to listen to the tiny people acting in your headphones.  Especially as the audio medium is more likely to be less constrained and more creative than others, which is absolutely amazing- but how am I meant to explain something like Stellar Firma , nevermind recommend it? This gets doubly hard when talking about audio dramas, because now it's niche AND old. The Bert Coules Sherlock Holmes radio adaptation? Clive Merrison? Anyone??? And it's not like a tv show, or book, or movie where you can pull snippets to terrorize your friends with, as even without context there is a visual for them to absorb. No this is just sound, and for some reason people do not respond well to just sound. Which is fine! I like sounds! It is just, again, making me lose my mind. Not to mention, people don't tend to be very sympathetic when you go 'oH tHeRe'S a MaGnUs ArChIvE...

I love doing the most. When I write, when I sing, when I go out and especially when cook. I kind of sometimes forget this fact when I'm stuck in an undiagnosed mental illness spiral and cooking is just sort of a means of survival- yet another chore to keep a household running. It kinda takes the spark out of everything, and it's especially grueling when you're already hungry. But sometimes you have a little Moment, and you make your flatbread dough from scratch, your refried beans, your mince (this is my dinner tonight). You realize the lettuce you've been fearing for is going to come in beautifully. You Do The Most and you enjoy taking the extra time to knead where you would usually just chuck the whole thing together and call it a day.  Measuring out the spices in individual bowls. Having fun with it. A lot of this does come down to chance. To energy. To a kitchen that was already clean when you got there. But when it does come down, it is very very welcome. This was ...

Having ocs is so fun. It's like trapping yourself in a little box with a whirlpool in it, and then just swirling and swirling and swirling in your stupid, gay little thoughts. Occasionally somebody will pop their head in and you can splash some of your Stupid Water their way and have a grand old time talking about it. Mostly, however, you will be trapped in there by yourself and then go mad for a million years. Anyways, my blog, I can talk into the void about this forever. you, dear reader I have three W.I.P.s at the moment, and they get progressively more niche as they go on. Firstly, my first OCs after years of writing fanfic, is for a project I've titled Without Gentleness for now. It follows a King named Godfrey, his best friend and chamberlain(i think? her role keeps changing) Bartholomea, and Godfrey's nemesis/crush, Wolfgrim. It's essentially a slice of life romance about Wolfgrim's ongoing attempts to assassinate his King, and Godfrey's undying devotion...

Incredibly annoyed about missing a post yesterday. A devil took hold of me and I spent most of the day sleeping, and by the time I came around I was still exhausted.  I had more in depth posting plans for today too, but it feels more like a fanfiction and chill out kind of vibe. I fell out of bed this morning and almost immediately walked to the store, so it might also be a productive one, the Lord willing. I think I'm mostly just stuck in a slight limbo. My father is coming end of this month and then hopefully things should pick up. That, or I miraculously find myself employed soon. On top of all this my hair is bad. Weh.

I deeply underestimated how tired I would be after all this. It's a good tired though- energy expended rather than wasted. Per the previous post, today our friend arrived to pick us up and ferry us into town for an excursion to the Iziko South African Museum , a place me and my sibling have been going to since childhood. We haven't been back in a while and have been near electric to revisit it, along with the Company Gardens that surround it. So naturally once we sorted out the fuckery that was parking we immediately took a turn in the National Library of South Africa . Spontaneous, certainly, but worth it. At least for architecture, as most of the Library isn't open to casual visitors and checking in through security took longer than the tour. And, perhaps, I definitely think we went in the wrong way? Once inside, however, it hardly matters, the central hall is massive and as soon as you pass into it the most amazing hush descends on you, a pressure of history and contemp...