A Whale of a Tale (I Watched 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea)

Disney's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) is a really strange movie. I knew this to some extent going in, but I really wasn't prepared for the specific way it was strange.

I knew about the whitewashing of Captain Nemo, which will be touched upon (oh trust me). I knew the characterization of our main trio would be off. I even knew that the whole thing would be kind of goofy.

In the interest of not going on about this forever and ever, I'm going to organize this...review? Rambling? Into a sort of Pros and Cons list, topped off with some observations that amused me- and trust me, there was plenty amusing. The raw, unfiltered notes app version of my experience watching this can never see the light of day.

I do love a good classic Disney book opening.

Pro: To get the big one out of the way, the set design and general atmosphere of this movie is gorgeous and that's no exaggeration. There are some shots in this movie that genuinely take my breath away and I can't help but wish they were in a better movie. The lighting once we are taken inside the Nautilus is simply beautiful, a kaleidoscope of greens, blues and even some reds. The underwater scenes themselves are not as rich as they could be, unfortunately, which could be put down to either the quality I watched the movie in, or the simple limitations of underwater cinematography at the time but they are not too numerous as to grate. And speaking of the Nautilus, while she looks a bit goofy once upon the waves, she is simply beautiful in the water itself. I love her ridged and copper riveted design, she's delightfully analogue with all her weighty levers and protruding dials and knobs. My favourite scenes were almost always the ones set at her windows, looking out or in. There is always a grounded feeling in practical sets and she embodies this beautiful, even if she does look like the queue at a Disney park at times.

This scene is best experienced in motion, and possibly not at three pixels, but it is amazingly shot.

I love her. Sturgeon shaped.

Con: Casting and characterization. So yes, white Nemo jumpscare. And as well as James Mason does in this, the whole thing is looming constantly at the back of your head as you watch- a horrible little specter haunting your shoulder. It's evident how quickly the conceit of Nemo's character falls apart when you strip him of his nationality and his motives following thus, and it would be commendable how they work around this in the movie if it wasn't so easily avoidable in the first place, not to mention in awfully bad taste. Dreadful, bad decision- only thing Mason has going for him besides his deep voice and sad eyes, is his dedication to looming around Aronnax which is essential to any good Captain Nemo. (*shrek 2 meme* he isn't even polish.) 

I am man enough to admit he is very hot at times but it is not nearly enough to justify this casting, like come on.

Speaking of Aronnax, he's easily the best and most interesting part of this whole thing. Which is funny as it took me a while to come around to him, and I still maintain he isn't nearly silly or enthusiastic or wholeheartedly devoted to his friends enough. But thankfully all of this is sacrificed at least for a sober sort of admiration which almost creeps into obsession in places, both with Nemo and the Nautilus. He broods out of the windows and looks longingly at everything and everyone. His scenes with Nemo are easily the most compelling, and I do truly appreciate how the movie doubles down on his conflict with his admiration for the Captain. I can forgive some flatness if it's made up for by two guys talking eachother in philosophical circles and generally being kind of weird about eachother. 8/10.

This brings me to Conseil, as played by Peter Lorre. Now the longer I dwell on this the more I think this adaptation of the character is a failure in almost every regard. Part of this I think does come down to Lorre being cast, who usually cannot help a sardonic tone and general mischievous/melancholic disposition. But even Lorre is wasted in this, not given much to do but counter-balance and cut down Kirk Douglas' frankly wild portrayal of Ned Land. He's a strangely duplicitous figure, slinking about the Nautilus and behind Aronnax's back, and he doesn't seem all that enthused about the natural world either. Most of the core tenets of Conseil have been done away with entirely and it makes for a flat performance and a hollow caricature of a pretty devoted friend, and it's kind of a shame all around.

And finally Ned Land, played by Kirk Douglas. Of all the assumptions I had about how Disney would adapt harpooning, eternally starving Canadian extraordinaire Ned Land, it was not by way of Dick Van Dyke a la Mary Poppins. Around the late fifteen minute mark we have our one and only musical number, performed by Ned Land, about the various women he's loved in his travels. The beginning of the movie he shows up with a painted lady (one assumes) on each arm and he's already grinning like a loon. He spends a good eighty percent of his screentime being manhandled. He fashions a new banjo thing aboard the Nautilus out of a turtle shell and I'm guessing some sort of scrimshawed bone. He becomes best friends with a sea lion named Esmerelda. He seems more suited to the action comedy chops of his son's Romancing the Stone than what is half-heartedly attempting to be a serious adaptation of Jules Verne's timeless classic about the latent horrors of imperialism and loving fish a lot. And I suppose if any character in the original novel was going to get the family comedy treatment it would be hungry, rebellious Ned, but still. Deeply unserious. 

Ned is eating his food with a knife.

Pro: Practical effects. So, this one is nuanced because 'practical effects' in old Hollywood does entail live animals. So, yeah, that isn't great probably, but I'm not going to look it up for my own sanity. But as for everything else you can absolutely tell a fuckton of money was thrown at this thing. I was very charmed by the little rotoscoped fishies Aronnax sees out of the window of the Nautilus, but let's not kid ourselves- we are here for that damn squid. Before I get to the damn squid, however, I do need to address the fucking explosions in this movie, a shock to me, someone who wasn't expecting explosions in his submarine exploration story. But expected or not, they were visceral and powerful, and grounded in a way you can only really get with practical*. I must also appreciate all of the water used for this movie, everyone is soaked almost constantly. And now for that damn squid. To be truthful, I never knew it was a giant squid from what I've heard of this movie, likening it more to a Kraken because what squid in it's right mind is latching onto an atomic powered submarine with such tenacity. And that aside it is a little funny how it's size and reach changes from one shot to the next, but all of this is smoke to how fucking cool this thing looks. I have an especial fondness for the scenes of it's tentacles reaching into the Nautilus. The scenes of it in battle are a bit wonky, but the scale is believable and I really like it's cute little beak opening and closing as it hungers for Captain Mayo. 10/10, I really love old movie effects.

Lovely silly baby <3

Con: Tone. While the tonal disparity isn't too great, it still isn't entirely comfortable. This was the problem I was most equipped to deal with, but it still smarts a bit. I decided to watch this movie as a companion to the novel and it is laughable coming from how competently the book manages to balance its themes and tones and then coming to the awkwardness of the movie. Despite having fun with all the fifties-ness and beautiful classic filmmaking, it was incredibly difficult to keep myself invested for most of the runtime. Hell at one point I got thoroughly distracted trying to cast a Muppet adaptation of the book (I failed miserably, I don't know where to put Kermit). Overall there was one incredibly good sequence that was well shot, well conceived, and well acted and that is scene where Nemo brings down the first warship. The movie pivots to a tense, focused atmosphere and this also serves as the first fracture in the relationship and trust built up between Nemo and Aronnax. It was genuinely compelling to watch, especially when Aronnax confronts him in the aftermath. And then afterwards we go right back to this strange union between serious and silly, whereas in the book the silliness has definitely begun to wane. Even after the fight with the squid, it fails to keep up with the momentum and it simply limps along to the finish line. Which is a shame.

Captain Mayo on the precipice of committing horrible, horrible murder.

To conclude this, I hope this list has given you a somewhat clear picture of the strange almost slog it was to get through this movie, and the potential that was sort of discussed along the way. All I want to do to wrap up now is present a list of observations numbered in no particular importance but which I need to bring attention to. Thank you for reading!

Final Observations:

• I emphatically skipped the scene where Ned and Conseil go ashore and encounter the indigenous people of the island, but trust me, from the frames that flashed up, it was not very good. This is not really a problem inherent to the movie.
• Nemo has a pet sea lion named Esmerelda.

This is Esmerelda. She's very cute and I desperately hope she was treated well.

• While there is only one musical number in this (not counting a drunken duet wit the sea lion later), I cannot state enough how jarring it is nonetheless.
• The date in the little Disney book from the beginning is, I believe, incorrect. I don't know if they are simply referencing another edition, but it would be a wild thing to get wrong with no purpose.
• NEMO'S PAPERS! Not up to archival standard, the outside hatch is right there! Imagine the damp!
• There are. Inexplicably what looks to be courgettes in the kitchen?
• OH GOD HOW COULD I FORGET- so the funeral scene is moved to right in the beginning of the trio boarding the Nautilus and there is. At the front of a procession. Being held by Nemo, I presume, a BARNACLE ENCRUSTED CROSS HEADSTONE. YOU HEARD ME FOLKS, NATURALLY BEDAZZLED CROSS! I didn't know from what direction to even be offended from so I just settled for bursting out into laughter.

  

  I've edited it a little, as the underwater scenes are hideously washed out, BUT LOOK! CAMP ISN'T DEAD!!

• "Eat your pudding, Mr. Land." Real dialogue said by Nemo.
• I do appreciate that in the spirit of the book, Nemo does take Aronnax on little dates. One such scene is hilariously accompanied by the most romantic, swelling orchestra I've ever heard in my life.
• Kirk Douglas and his son sound so alike, holy moly.

*To make a thing clear, I am most certainly not anti-CGI, and adopt a Guillermo del Toro approach to mixing practical and digital. And in the case of exotic wild animals, I'd certainly prefer the latter, as well as general human safety.